Often I find myself thinking about things like who was I in a past life? or who were my ancestors?
Well, in my head there is this amazing fit fighting warrior goddess and she likes telling me of things I can do or could do, and should do.
Sometimes I can get frustrated with her but its not her fault, she just wants the best for me, to protect me and help me.
See genetics is a very complicated thing for me. One half of my blood is a complete and utter blackhole, I know nothing about it except a name and honestly I want nothing to do with him. The side I do know about I only know so much and every time questions have been asked the subject has been changed. I even took photo’s to get answers that was about 6-8 years ago, still haven’t gotten those back.
Anyway back to the warroir goddess, who is she?
Whether its a past life or a culmination of many aspects of me I just don’t know. What I do know is that she’s fierce, she’s strong, she takes no crap from anyone, she won’t abide toxic liars and bullshitters and she is pushing me to be the best healthiest, fittest, kickass version of me I can possibly be.
In a couple of weeks I am going back on my diet with which I lost a lovely amount of weight (-42lbs approx 3 dress sizes). This session will be the final and last hurdle because when I finish this time, thats it for me, no goddess awful processed crap with ingredients you can’t pronounce and laced with chemicals will pass these lips ever again and for a time I shall be going both gluten and sugar free.
Sugar free is amazing, I’ve done it before so I know what to expect when the fog lifts lol, no really its like a thick fog lifting!
Gluten free on the other hand, i’ve never tried that and it could help with a health issue.
But thats not all, nope, I’ll be doing my yoga regularly too, every single day through rain or shine, summer and winter. I’m really determined to conquer some of those more complicated poses.
There’s more though!
The warrior goddess is wanting / telling me to buy a boxing bag so the stresses of everyday life or rather my current day job no longer puts weight on my shoulders or body because right now it does and I do not want a repeat of a number of years ago when I woke one christmas and could barely move and everytime I did I was in tears of pain. People just don’t realise what they’re putting on you intended or not.
Her other request is something which feels somewhat like its out of a memory, maybe a genetic memory or a pastlife memory. I’m not sure which. See when I write or imagine a fighting scene in my head its very fluid, coming so easily and this is no different.
I’m no fan of the sword, I don’t hate them they just aren’t my weapons of choice.
Let me state here my first weapons of choice are the written word and camera but after that comes the bo-staff and the bow and arrow.
Apparently my inner warrior goddess wants me to get myself a bo-staff but thats nothing new, she has wanted one for decades but only now am I looking into it. However she doesn’t want a foam bo-staff she wants a proper carved wooden one.
If I were to describe my kickass warrior goddess I would have to say using modern descriptions that she is a cross between Lady Sif and Lara Croft.
Why oh why can’t I be like these ladies in life, I don’t know.
So what other things does she want from me?…
– my photo’s and abstract art out there in the world.
– my books edited and published and working on the others.
– me to decide how to use my colour therapy diploma to help people across all aspects of life.
– and to decide whether to continue reviewing books or not and if so how much to charge.
and thats all not getting into other areas of my life.
However maybe, as a friend mentioned earlier, maybe this is future me screaming out to get my sh!t together instead of keep getting knocked down by things and people.
So what is your kickass warrior god or goddess like? and what are they telling you to do?